Why Not Express Negative Emotions?

Why Not Express Negative Emotions?

There are many people who have told me that expressing myself, including negative emotions, is the right thing to do. “Tell the truth, let them know how you feel.” This advice is consistent with pop culture but is counter to true, inner self-growth. In the first place my truth and The Truth may not be the same thing. It is highly presumptuous of me to think or feel that I know the whole truth.

Secondly, when I express negative emotions, I am often merely passing along a misunderstanding, an expectation, or an indignation that originates somewhere else. A domino effect of sorts.

To make matters worse, if I dig deeply, I will find that in many cases I am passing along a negative emotion that I learned from someone else, such as a parent or some other formative person. The prerequisite to the expression of a negative emotion is identification. This is a part of that domino effect. To become negative, I am almost always identified with something, and the emotion I express is often a carbon copy of something my mother, for example, expressed. It was not really mine. It was learned behavior that now needs to be unlearned.

The nonexpression of negative emotions is a discipline or exercise of the Fourth Way. The practice can be found in various esoteric traditions throughout history. It is not a moral thing. Negative emotions are a part of the normal human experience; the nonexpression of negative emotions is reserved for people whose goals concern psychological development or self-discipline. The expression of negative emotions is one of the largest leaks of fine energy. To steer my ship towards higher states of consciousness, I need to first control my ship, its negative emotions.

When we set up this private group, A Fourth Way School, we decided to introduce the practice of the nonexpression of negative emotions as a rule for signing up for the group. This provides an opportunity to raise the level of discourse and interaction in this social media site that might otherwise be replete with expressions of negativity. The internet has “devolved,” like many venues for interpersonal communication, into a marketplace littered with harsh and frequent expressions of negativity.

Giving members the nonexpression rule for signing up also provides a taste for the standard that we strive to maintain as part of our daily life in following the Work. It is not easy, but most things worthwhile are not easy.

Whenever I complain, criticize, or gossip, as many tend to do on the internet, we are expressing negativity. It is a personal choice. If you try to not express negative emotions, while at the same time being present – remembering yourself – you will find it is possible to control negative emotions. The world will expand, and your understanding of yourself will become clear, calm, and empty of ego and callousness. It is a reasonable “ask” for people who want to become familiar with another way of living. The written word is a good starting point. Thanks for giving it a try.

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John William Waterhouse, Ulysses and the Sirens