Watch for Judgment

Watch for Judgment

A man should take away not only unnecessary acts, but also unnecessary thoughts. - Marcus Aurelius

Judgment I’s are a prime example of “unnecessary thoughts” and are harmful to the Work in many ways. Judgments about other people, including their behaviors, activities, abilities, etc., happen to you and me when we are asleep. They are unhelpful in every instance and pollute our minds and relationships with others. How can I possibly know why someone acted a certain way or know what brought someone to make a choice? And why is my assessment or way of doing things any better than the next person's? And yet, I question and judge others without even trying to understand. It just happens without attention and raises a bunch of intriguing observations.

For one thing, it’s curious that in my imperfect state of being, I don’t see that other people suffer from the same mechanical behaviors and habits that I often do. What I mean is I judge people for doing the same thing I might do. This is quite absurd, from one point of view. Even when setting aside this contradiction, I am subject to another pervasive and perhaps even more common form - self-judgment.

When judging myself, I am second-guessing myself at best and in other cases the self-judgment is so mean-spirited and harsh, that I am defeating myself or - you could say - consuming myself, like a snake eating its own tale. If I’m not observing myself, such behavior can be self-destructive and paralyzing. Yes, there may be elements of truth in this self-judgment, but it's purposeless in most cases and only serves to further bury the real truth about myself.

Judgment of myself or others is fundamentally useless. Being present, however, precludes judgment from entering us. When I observe and try to remember myself while having judgment, my work intervenes and transforms that impression, that observation, that weakness of the moment into Presence. When we denigrate ourselves or others through judgment, we are neglecting to “see” the bigger picture, to see that our consciousness is at stake in such moments.

Judgment is quite predictable and commonplace and because of its predictability, I can prepare myself in advance for this potentially venomous internal response. For instance, when driving a car, as I often do, I can predict with certainty that I will have judgment I’s about other drivers whose driving actions I deem are dangerous or too slow or too erratic, etc. and will think cruel thoughts and fill my mind and heart with volumes of judgments.

Interestingly, while thinking about this topic, I witnessed a dump truck first speed up at a yellow light and then run a red light. I could feel the outrage welling up, as the heavy truck sped away, but I was able to stop the judgment I’s from overtaking me, from displacing my presence. This is not about whether the driving act was justified. I’m not looking to excuse the truck driver’s act; I’m trying to control my own state of consciousness. Automatic responses are sleep. Something higher needs to be in the driver's seat.

I am retraining my mind and refocusing my sense of self by controlling judgement I’s. It is liberating when I’m able to observe myself in the world without judgment. One discipline our teacher suggests is to avoid complaining, criticizing, and condemning others. If you catch yourself expressing yourself in one of these three ways, then you are judging and very likely expressing negative emotions. Try this exercise for the rest of the week and see what you observe.

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Cordelia, Pierce Francis Connelly