The moment you suffer, try to remember yourself.

G.I. Gurdjieff advises that at “The moment you suffer, try to remember yourself.” In the midst of research for this post, that moment of suffering came and I forgot myself. I was identified and asleep, experiencing the very subject of negativity I set out to study in books. This “real life” circumstance showed to me the struggle with negativity and my all too often lack of being able to transform the suffering into presence. The Teacher says, “Letting go of your negative emotions is voluntary suffering. One of the functions of negative emotions is to distract us from remembering ourselves. Nothing but self-remembering can handle negative emotions.”

In order to write and think through ideas in a coherent way, a quiet environment is necessary to focus and connect to a more objective place of contemplation. Unfortunately, the daily, hourly – seemingly endless – interruptions come: a cell phone rings, a FaceTime call from a sister, a text to help a neighbor, the other phone rings, the buzzer on the clothes dryer sounds, an important email arrives with a deadline, the microwave alarm rings, a knock at the door, the constant sound of the TV, questions about finances and a hunt around the house for a lost title of a car, etc., which leaves me lost in negativity and distracted from remembering myself and my task. These disruptions trigger the all too familiar negative emotion of feeling disrespected by others and blaming my negativity on those around me. It is a partial truth that when well-meaning people interrupt us, they unintentionally communicate that their request—or what they have to say—takes precedence over my work and it makes one feel insignificant and unimportant. The fact is that the negativity this evokes is not external. It is internal and it is not real nor is it a priority over the presence of the moment. Seeing my own insignificance and suffering through the feeling that others’ urgent requests take precedence over whatever I am doing is an opportunity to let go of a negative emotion – to value presence over everything else. Our Teacher counsels:

“Relinquishing negative emotions is a matter of life and death. Not only the quantity, but the quality of transforming suffering matters. Suffering itself is a waste, but transforming it is precious. One truly cannot buy anything lasting but self-remembering, and that at the price of transforming suffering.”

“The quality of transforming suffering matters” and some artists have transformed their suffering into sublime music. We create the music anew when we are present to it because without presence it does not exist – we sleep through the concert. Beyond and above the beauty of the music is our presence. Please enjoy and stay awake for this 3:36 minutes of “transformed suffering.”

Eternal Source of Light Divine composed by George Frederick Händel performed by Marie-Sophie Pollak & Ensemble Concerto München https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxTCKN8FBbo)

Standing Gautama Buddha, Gandhāra Kushan Dynasty