The Kiss of Sleep

The Kiss of Sleep

I have attributed to myself the capability of accomplishing multiple tasks at the same time. I am fairly certain that I am not alone in this belief as I see others walking or driving while looking at their phones or listening to podcasts or music. I find it particularly disorienting when walking by someone and erroneously thinking they are speaking to me, only to realize I’m simply hearing half of their mobile phone conversation. It can feel disheartening to pass a smiling child in a stroller – wide-eyed and cheerful, ready to greet the world – followed by a parent wearing earbuds which take them somewhere other than experiencing the moment of the smile and company of their child.

I am not asserting nor judging whether multitasking or using mobile devices is good or bad for us; but only that non-attentiveness or overindulgence in things increases the chances of falling asleep and missing the present. I can ask myself “Is an object governing me or is the Observer present and governing it.”

My Teacher explains that “To be extremely identified is to be extremely asleep.” The allurement of using electronic devices makes it much easier to illustrate what the Fourth Way means by the word “identification.” (See the glossary under the File tab for further clarification.) It is easy to spot and observe in myself and in others, this peculiar identification of our age which consumes energy.

I feel naked without my electronic device, and using it becomes so dominant that some people may eventually need counseling to help wean themselves from the identification and obsessive behavior. Divided attention is the anecdote to identification. Through divided attention I remember to reserve conscious energy for my Self – to remember myself – while driving, shopping, reading, talking, etc. My identity resides in being separate or detached from the lower self and its interaction with the external world.

One way to test whether I am identified or not is to observe what happens when the object of my identification is taken away or someone interrupts me. Often negativity results because I have lost myself in the identification and disturbed to be interrupted. I chose the easy example of electronics for obvious reasons, but people can become lost internally in emotions, ideas, sensations, attitudes, judgments etc., or externally in jobs, money, sex, food, family, friends, material things – I can become identified with virtually anything. We all have stolen identities which we willingly give away.

Disappearing into identification means I miss participating in and experiencing moments of my life. I cannot be present when I am in a state of identification. It is both a blessing and a curse that identification is reliable and infinitely pervasive. If I use it as a reminder to wake up, I have found a reliable feature to struggle against. I can summon the Observer in order to witness this obstacle in myself and then bring presence to the moment. My effort to bring presence must outweigh the temptation of identification. It is a question of valuation.

An exercise to interrupt identification is to experiment with doing one thing at a time in presence. You might be surprised at the difficulty of this exercise and how much easier it is to evoke and sustain a higher state while doing one activity.

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The Kiss, Francesco Hayez, 1859