The Antidote to Inner Considering

The Antidote to Inner Considering

From our friend Lindsey V. of the New York Center.

An idea specific to the Fourth Way is the distinction between inner considering and its antidote, external consideration. Ouspensky defines inner considering as a state in which everything is measured by the questions, "What do they think of me?" or "How have I been treated?" It is a life centered on oneself, where imagination, false personality, and identification are strengthened and unnecessary suffering is perpetuated.

Inner considering is based upon one's demands upon other people. — P. D. Ouspensky

Most of us know well the experience of inner considering. A friend or colleague fails to reply quickly enough to a text, and we immediately invent a story: I must have offended them. They don't value me. The imagined story is almost entirely about ourselves and feeds resentment, vanity, or self-pity. We know the taste of inner considering when we replay conversations long after the fact, act in ways that seek approval, feel wounded by small or imagined slights, and measure our happiness by how others treat us.

A teaching story that has stayed with me is conveyed by the following scenario. Imagine relaxing on a rowboat, drifting slowly in the middle of a river on a beautiful day. All of a sudden, another rowboat rams into your boat. Almost immediately you might become incensed–what kind of idiot would bump into our boat, how could they do that? And then you look and see that no one was in the other boat, it was just drifting in the river with no one in it. With this understanding, your reaction changes instantly. It was the result of impersonal forces–not about you at all. It is similar to when you find out your friend did not reply to your text because they were sick–or maybe because you forgot to press send. This is the trap of inner considering: we assume ourselves to be the center of events that often have entirely different causes than we imagine.

The antidote to inner considering is external consideration. Rather than demanding that others satisfy our expectations, we try to place ourselves in their shoes and understand their circumstances, needs, and state. Goethe expressed the challenge beautifully:

What is hardest of all? That which seems most simple: to see with your eyes what is before your eyes.

External consideration asks us to see (hear and feel) what is actually happening rather than the story created by our imagination. External consideration requires presence.

In my line of work as a classroom teacher, I have come to understand that often the disruptive students are actually frustrated and do not understand my explanations. Understanding this helps me avoid quick irritated reactions and allows space to actually listen to them and try another approach. The aim is not simply to become kinder or more tolerant. The real art of external consideration is to be able to respond to what is actually needed in the moment, without feeling bound by others’ expectations. True external consideration is an attribute of higher centers.

Sincere self-observation can help us see when we are inner considering. We can set aims such as stopping internal conversations or when we are hurt or offended ask, what is hurt or offended? Simply listening fully to another person is a step towards externally considering them.

Not talking to a person while he is eating is an act of external consideration. — The Teacher

Our daily activities offer many opportunities to choose between reinforcing sleep by inner considering or strengthening presence by external consideration. If we can recognize moments of inner considering, they become an invitation to awaken.

To bear the manifestations of others is a big thing. The last thing for a man. — G. I. Gurdjieff

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The Return of the Prodigal Son, Rembrandt, ca.1669