Lifting the Curtain

Lifting the Curtain

It was the Summer of 1988, I had been working with the Fourth Way system actively for about a year, I was at a concert, the New Age musician Kitaro was on stage, I was sitting in the second row holding the hand of my attractive German girlfriend. I was in love, and I felt it could not get much better than this.

‘Wow, this is even better than it sounds on the CD! Great lighting, and what a performer! What a rift there, what a gifted artist he is (of course none of this was said out loud). Now, if it wasn’t for this aching feeling in my arm. It must be this awkward position I am in holding her hand. I’ll move it … no she likes the hand holding and I want to show her how much I am a sensitive hand holding type person. I can try that breathing and relaxing technique from the Tai Chi classes, maybe that will help.’

I began breathing deeply and bringing my attention to my arm, neck and shoulders, the tension went away, and the pain released. I became aware then of the incredible tension my entire body actually felt and breathed through that. It was only then that I recalled Divided Attention and Self Remembering, and with it a subtle internal shift, there became Present a sense of I that was separate from the sensations, emotions and words passing through the head and body. I felt the emotional tension of how I wanted to be perceived by this person, the fear of losing her affection, and I became aware of the constant flow of words that had been going through my head during the whole concert.

Then, something very new, it was as if a veil was lifted, and the curtain went up and I was at the concert for the first time really hearing the music. The words in my head had stopped and I could follow each note effortlessly as it was played, what a different world! A full song went by like this before efforts were needed. The State was new yet familiar; open, limitless, joyful. Then, one word or two would enter and I could return to the State, then it was a few more words, and I could return, then ‘the curtain came down’ (unfortunately well before the performance was actually over) and it seemed I could not recapture the State.

It was not until then, even after a full year of practice of the Fourth Way, that I had fully realized just how pervasive imagination is. That immersion in the flow of words, mental images, emotions, and sensations that I experienced at the concert was my default state of existence throughout my life, not just in that limited situation.

We have to learn to sense the “bad taste” of imagination (regardless of the subject) and drop it as quickly as we would spit out a rancid piece of food.

Set a firm Aim to try this today while listening to music (or at any time of your day). It is these small, apparently insignificant moments that make up the majority of our lives, where we can begin to make efforts at experiencing the Miraculous.

Not one of you has noticed the most important thing that I have pointed out to you. That is to say, not one of you has noticed that you do not remember yourselves. — G.I. Gurdjieff (from In Search of the Miraculous)

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Portrait of Cardinal Filippo Archinto, Titian, 1558