Inner-considering

Inner-considering

Inner-considering is the psychological state of worrying what people think of us; of not being able to say what we wish to a person because of the fear of not being liked. Inner-considering also encompasses feelings that people do not value us as much as we think they should.

The other side of this coin is the attitude of not caring at all about how we manifest, doing and saying things with little or no regard for others. This is simply being inconsiderate. It seems no accident that the words ’inner-consider’ and ‘inconsiderate' are similar to each other.

A few weeks ago one of my best friends and someone whom, more often than not I look up to, experienced difficult circumstances. I met him as usual in the morning and heard what he had to say. I commiserated with him and offered some soporific and ready-made fourth-way phrases in an effort help him navigate his difficulty. A few days later, after thinking more about our conversation, I realized that I had not said to him anything that addressed his situation, even though on reflection, there were some thoughts that occurred to me that would have been more practical for him to hear. Because I had placed him on a pedestal as it were, due to my inner-considering I missed an opportunity to share my own experience in similar circumstances and offer him my verifications.

In another example, a while ago I was laying in bed next to my wife when a medical emergency began occurring to me. A hernia that, until this time had not been a problem, erupted and the pain was, to say the least, acute. My instinctive center knew what to do; go to the hospital immediately. But I lay there, in pain, inner-considering waking up my wife and letting her know my condition. In imagination about what I believe would be the outcome if I awakened my wife at 1:30AM, I lay in bed immersed in I's of "I can’t wake her up, she’s asleep, she worked so hard in the garden, my condition isn't that bad” and that I could last until morning. Eventually the pain became so intense, that I called the hospital on their emergency phone number and whispered to the voice at the other end my symptoms and possible(!) cause. The nurse who answered the call was baffled that I was not already on my way to the emergency room and instructed me to leave immediately. When I woke my wife up and explained to her the circumstances, especially that I was in excruciating pain, and that I had called the hospital for advice and was told to get on the road immediately, she said gently but in an unmistakeable tone that carried the expression ‘You silly goose!’, that I ought to have woken her up sooner.

In William Blake’s painting Glad Day, he shows Albion is dancing joyfully, like a child, completely naked, with no hint of him inner-considering his unclothed condition. Blake illustrates the nature of essence aware of itself; higher centers unfettered with opinions, beliefs, wants or regrets, beckoning the viewer to join him in ecstatic divine presence.

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Glad Day, 1795, William Blake

First impression, British Museum, London