Becoming Objective to Ourselves

Becoming Objective to Ourselves

From our friend, David Tuttle

I once uncovered a buffer, which I began to call the “good boy” buffer. It was a belief that I am basically a nice person and no one could possibly be offended by my behavior. This belief prevented me from seeing that sometimes I am very irritating, even exasperating, for other people.

I discovered this irritating aspect through two channels. First, by being present occasionally, I would notice people’s reactions to me. Noticing other people’s reactions is probably quite mechanical for emotional types, but not for me, an intellectual type. This, by the way, was not inner considering, where we imagine people are reacting to us in a certain way, but part of observing what is in the present moment.

The second avenue was observing my reactions to people of a similar type, center of gravity, or feature to me. Lunar types are sometimes very irritating for me. I can be fairly sure I have the same behavioral mechanisms as they, even if I don’t directly see them in myself. Intellectual types have a certain way of expressing themselves, which I easily understand, often enjoy, but sometimes find rather one dimensional. Observing people with the same features as I have, has also been quite useful.

By finding these behaviors in ourselves, and seeking to minimize them, we become more balanced human beings, more ready to meet the demands of life. It’s the smoothing off our rough edges.

Of course, it helps a lot to be in a school, where you can study other people who know their type, center of gravity and feature. I can’t imagine how far I would have got trying to work on my own.

Nevertheless, everyone with whom we have regular contact, periodically gives us photographs of our mechanical manifestations, if we are but sensitive to receive them, and then to use them for our work on ourselves.

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Image: Google public domain