A Tragedy Transformed

A Tragedy Transformed

Three years have passed since my brother died of Covid in November of 2021. Like Autumn leaves, the emotional traces of this experience color my memory and float into my mind, particularly in November. I am reminded of a very personal and tragic loss, which I reliably use as a reminder to transform the passing world into moments of presence – his memory awakens me and fills my heart with gratitude for his life and the lessons his death taught me. The loss of my brother has fueled my life and brought moments of higher states like no other single experience. As Shakespeare reminds us, “Sweet are the uses of adversity” and he goes on to describe that we can find, “tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. I would not change it.”

One can take something tragic, transform it, and infuse the angelic into one’s Self. — The Teacher

My brother was an avid “catch and release” fisherman. I mention this because when I catch a thought of him it reliably summons up an emotional response in my heart, which awakens me to be present. I then release the emotion, but I let its energy, and my awareness propel me into a higher state.

Real suffering cuts very deep into our soul and abides with us. I no longer try to rid myself of unhappy memories but wring out of them a profit by raising my state. These deep experiences mix with and change our very Being. When I am in a dull state, all I need to do is invoke my brother’s memory and the emotional energy is channeled to Presence. I have watched myself tenderly touch the internal bruise from remembering him so that I could “catch and release” its energy and fuel that part of me which can transcend it.

Whitman spoke about “the profound lesson of reception, nor preference nor denial.” When experiencing suffering, try not to wish for it to go away or for things to be different; just accept it, transform it into presence — neither preference nor denial. — The Teacher

In moments of higher states, I realize that birth and death are one and that my brother was also caught and released into a new journey of his soul. Covid is an experience that we all share, and I hope that you were able to glean from the experience some pearls of wisdom through transformation.

Joyous experiences also can be transformed, but suffering has the added advantage of evoking humility and promotes fruitful questions about the world and our place in it. Real suffering is expansive and builds our capacity to contend with a tragic situation. Seeing the value of real suffering transforms it into presence, love, and gratitude.

When we transform a person’s death, that person did not die in vain. — The Teacher

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Breton Brother and Sister, William Bouguereau, 1871