We are what we repeatedly do

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle

What does it mean to transform negative emotions? It means harnessing the energy that is otherwise wasted in the cycle of expressing negativity, and then channeling this refined energy toward consciousness. My teacher says that “Controlling external negativity is a preliminary phase to controlling inner negativity.” The first step toward this transformation is simply to observe with frequency, depth and duration all forms of negativity. And when you see it, then muster up the strength to not express it. The observations we gather provide evidence to prove to ourselves that the expression of negativity is unnecessary. Freedom from it can awaken us to the way out of this suffering.

The external manifestations of expressing negative emotions are obvious to observe: shouting at a child, hitting, throwing or breaking things, complaining to coworkers, moodiness and irritability with our spouses, angry facial expressions, the strong jerk of a dog’s leash, the “silent treatment,” sarcasm, etc. Even those who are not interested in the pursuit of living in a higher state of consciousness notice that this overt expression is destructive, unhealthy and it depletes our energy. After an outburst, we might perceive that we just lost our finest energy.

Even more challenging to observe and, as a result, more difficult to study are the quiet, internal forms of expressing negativity: feelings of unworthiness, depression, disrespect, judgment, doubt, guilt, etc. These covert expressions also leave us depleted and we may be less aware of their detrimental effects. We begin working with the obvious forms and gradually learn to observe in ourselves the subtler forms of negative emotions. As a practical exercise for this week, try to not take others down with you when you observe yourself in negativity.

If you are like me, you might observe a subtle negative emotion when being redirected to the YouTube clip, waiting for the advertisements to finish. There are countless small negative emotions to transform in our electronic medium. Try to bring presence to the next 3:35 minutes by listening to this Italian love song, Perla Mya Cara (anon.) performed by Shirley Rumsey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_17zid8Ry0