The Changing Sense of 'I'

The Changing Sense of 'I'

In this work to awaken fully, we experience a changing sense of ‘I’. First, our sense of ‘I’ develops in childhood, as we grow away from the simple essence with which we are born. We develop personality, trying on aspects of new personas into adulthood. When we begin to seek a way out of the sleep of ordinary life, when we develop a “magnetic center,” the sense of ‘I’ begins to change again. Instead of sensing our well-protected personality as who we really are, the quest for awakening begins to define us. The ‘I’ that wishes to awaken and to find others who wish to awaken, becomes paramount. If, in our search, we find people who are more awake, or even books that seem to point a correct way, this questing ‘I’ grows strong. Of course it is not a single ‘I’, but our sense of identity begins to gather around this search for consciousness. And this search itself begins to form within us a kind of new unity. We may lose interest in the allurements of ordinary life. Our career ambitions may falter, or take a back seat to this new note in our lives. Relationships start to become meaningful only if they touch this new deepest part of ourselves. What can feed this new sense of ‘I’ becomes the main source of nourishment. What can feed this seed of the soul? When we find a school, the search ends and another kind of effort begins.