Presence is an Act of Courage

Presence is an Act of Courage

To understand the courage necessary to bear presence, I might imagine what it would feel like to have a few friends, who know me well, expose the depth and countless instances when they have experienced and seen my sleep, uncovering for me the habits that keep me asleep, and pointing out how my lower self enjoys and cleaves to the comfort zone of mechanical behavior. This would be a sort of “roast” where the jokes were not funny but deeply consequential—even existential—and it would take courage to really hear and not refute the narratives of my friends. And if my friends did not proceed from a genuine concern for my wellbeing, it would be difficult to digest their observations. While these are my musings on presence and courage, I am actually fortunate enough to have such friends.

Humility is the greatest courage. It takes courage to be simple. —The Teacher

The courage to bear seeing myself, to observe more objectively and begin to know myself, is the first step to waking up. I can begin by developing an Observer or Steward separate from the lower self, who looks internally at all the unconscious connections that have been hooked up psychologically that incite reactions to outer circumstances of my life with predictability. For instance, what situations stimulate negative emotions? Is it true or useful to imagine that the negative emotions are outside of me and are not my fault? Have I noticed how uncontrolled mind activity or imagination takes me away from the moment? What mental constructions and opinions have I relied upon to placate my weaknesses? Do I jump from one of the many “I’s” to the next, yet still ascribe unity to myself?

Have the courage to be present to our lives rather than in imagination. —The Teacher

Such unconscious connections contribute to the growth of my false personality that has formed a protective mechanism that the Fourth Way calls chief feature — one of the main obstacles to personal development. I have experienced this outer veil of false personality being lifted through the lens of self-observation and self-remembering. Eventually, false personality is exposed as an illusion, and by letting it go, I make space for essence to emerge and grow. Releasing myself from the grip of false personality to live and grow from essence, uncovers the part in me that has the potential to go beyond a simple biological existence.

Sometimes, by ‘letting go’ we allow some ‘grace’ to enter by another channel. Stillness is a quality of the heart. —Rodney Collin

However, it still takes courage to live in essence, to change to “another channel” which may feel foreign and unstable in the beginning. A significant aspect of courage is intentionally going into the unknown in pursuit of experiencing a higher state. Every day, if I really desired it, I could select to engage in something that was difficult and nearly guaranteed to produce presence, but not without the courage to put myself in uncomfortable circumstances.

Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle. —Phillip Brooks

Courage in the service of presence can be as simple as speaking to a stranger; asking of oneself the questions listed in the paragraph above; severing all connections to social media for a day; changing small personal habits; or, it can be as harrowing as performing in front of an audience; Spelunking; or mountain climbing. Being present to your daily life – completely in the moment – takes the utmost courage. Our lives can be done in sleep, but it is the courage to do them for awakening that makes a difference. In the end, we will all need courage to experience higher states in the final chapters of our lives and into the next.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. —Seneca

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Joan of Arc, John Everett Millais, 1865