Perceiving the Infinite

Perceiving the Infinite

One of the more difficult states that I struggle with is when an inner darkness asserts itself and blocks external impressions or somehow shields them from me. Ironically, it is more obvious to observe this lower energy circulating on days which are full of sunshine and beauty. The low state is exposed through contrast, yet somehow this darkness veils impressions from entering and disallows its energy from raising my state.

"Even so my sun one early morn did shine With all-triumphant splendor on my brow, But, out alack, he was but one hour mine; The region cloud hath masked him from me now."—Shakespeare

In the darkness of this state, the Steward becomes extremely important because it can select the tools to use in order to clean and open the windows of our sense perceptions, so that impressions can once again reach us. The Steward – which is a group of ‘I’s in the King of Hearts developed from one’s True Personality – is the part in us that makes the house ready for the Guest or Master. Summoning the Steward is a means by which we give ourselves agency to climb out of a lower state, thereby making ourselves available to the influence of impressions.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, Infinite.” ―William Blake

There are periods of time when my inner sun shines brightly and there is little need to struggle and make efforts. At those times higher states and conscious moments seem to be a gift and using the Steward is not only unnecessary but an interference. It is then that we realize that Higher Centers always exist, but it is we who do not. The Steward is necessary when these inner clouds cover our internal light which blinds us from our higher possibilities.

This morning, I experienced this struggle. Identification, imagination, and the many ‘I’s were obstacles in my way each time I tried to remember myself. There was an unsettled and scattered feeling circulating in the lower self. I was finally able to see the struggle clearly enough, so I decided to take a long walk and see if a change of scenery would help. On my walk, my Steward used a tool practiced in our School to tidy up my internal mess. This practice is similar to a meditative chant that one might rehearse over and over so that one does not fall prey to the chaos inside – a kind of divided attention.

We call this tool a Sequence. And in this Sequence of six words – all one syllable – I cycled through my meditation by focusing on one of the six words I call my operative word or theme. I chose the first operative word to address my sense of sight, so I used the word “look.” As I rehearsed the Sequence, I reminded myself to be present and look, and to dismiss obstacles that prevent presence, all the while continually returning to looking with presence at the colorful Spring flowers.

I then practiced a few more Sequences by replacing the operative word, this time addressing my sense of hearing with the word “hear” and intentionally listening to the birds. The fragrant wisteria inspired my next operative word “smell.” And again, as I touched the cool water in the creek, I used the operative word “feel.” And finally, I used the operative word “taste” as I gathered small herb samples to taste from a neighborhood garden.

“The senses are gateways to the intelligence. There is nothing in the intelligence which did not first pass through the senses.”—Aristotle

This persistent, simple exercise gradually dissolved my inner cloud and brought me to the point where impressions could reach me. The Steward used my senses to increase my chance of clearing away the clouds that prevented me from feeling those impressions deeply enough, until the higher hydrogens and influences could reach me and raise my state. At the end of each repetition of these Sequences, I furthered my effort by trying to sustain my presence through wordless inhalations and exhalations. Repeating each of the operative words with presence multiple times and with pauses in between Sequences, the entire meditation took about an hour of my walk before I felt a sense of balance and neutrality, eventually reaching a higher state.

Join the discussion

Woman with a Spray of Flowers, Safavid Dynasty, circa 1575 CE