Modesty: Inconspicuous Presence

Modesty: Inconspicuous Presence

To live well is to live unnoticed. — Ovid

There are countless ways to be inconspicuously present in my life; to foster the growth of an awareness that needs no external encouragement, approval, or applause; to quietly discover truths about myself and my place in this incredible cosmos; and, to modestly acknowledge my strengths, achievements, weaknesses, and faults.

My Teacher introduced an unassuming exercise for his students: to do one thing at a time. In this age of multitasking, it is not such a simple exercise, but I have learned to appreciate the clarity and simplicity that appear when I am intentionally present to one activity at a time. This effort of attention – for instance, while standing in the grocery checkout line – to be aware of and present to the moment, goes unnoticed by other people. Externally it looks the same as anyone else doing the same activity – very ordinary. But internally it can be extraordinary.

The more conscious one becomes, the less one will occupy space. — The Teacher

Another personal example I find useful is to embrace the National Parks motto to “leave no trace.” That means after I finish writing this post, I will try to leave my workspace as I found it – or tidier if things were messy. Again, this is an effort that is under the radar in the privacy of my home and is not necessary since no one else uses my desk. The goal is not to have a clean desk, but the consistency of being more awake for these inconspicuous moments of my life.

I play a little game with myself when using my husband’s computer. I take a snapshot in my mind of how he has his desk and computer organized and I try to leave it just as I had found it, which means I have more awareness when I initially start and finish. This is a different effort for me because he is more comfortable with his desk being cluttered and disorganized (by my standards), but the goal is to remember a higher purpose rather than to clean his desk.

At dinner, I have observed with admiration a friend anticipate someone at the table wanting salt, pepper or butter and passing it to them before the person asked for it. Some people have the gift of appearing just at the right moment to fulfill an unprompted need. External consideration is an exercise in modesty and requires the growth of awareness and presence beyond oneself. In fact, if modesty is not present it is not external consideration. To desire gratitude for the efforts we make on behalf of another person is asserting what is false in us into what may have been a pure intention of modest service.

One last example of modesty or inconspicuous presence is an effort I occasionally make when I realize that I have not been able to be present while practicing piano. I intentionally mute one string on the piano so that when I play that key, its sour clang can awaken me each time it is struck. This encounter with presence teaches me to separate from my identification with beauty and to reach beyond it.

Paint your sadnesses and your desires, your passing thoughts and your belief in some kind of beauty—paint all that with quiet and modest inward sincerity; and to express yourself, use the things that surround you. — Rainer Maria Rilke

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Japanese Tea Ceremony, Mizuno Toshikata, 1866 – 1908