Householder, Conformity and Personal Freedom

Householder, Conformity and Personal Freedom

In writing this post on householder, I have included quotes by P.D. Ouspensky, Marcus Aurelius, and The Law of Manu. I am cautious about quoting from The Law of Manu because I am neither pardoning nor judging its historical influence on some aspects of Hindu thought, particularly the justification of the caste system and the subservient attitudes toward women and gender roles in India.

Manu-smriti is the common name of the work, which is officially known as Manava-dharma-shastra. The text has 2,684 verses in the form of a dialogue between an exalted teacher and disciples. I have not read the work in its entirety, yet the quotes in this essay, dating back to circa 500 BCE, contain little gems of wisdom when applied to oneself and the topic of householder. With relativity, all sacred texts have these gems of pointing the way if we look for them.

The student, the householder, the hermit, and the ascetic, these (constitute) four separate orders, which all spring from (the order of) householders … the housekeeper is declared to be superior to all of them; for he supports the other three … As all rivers, both great and small, find a resting-place in the ocean, even so men of all orders find protection with householders. — from The Law of Manu

School implies such social and political conditions in the given country in which a school can exist, because a school cannot exist in any conditions; and a more or less ordered life and a certain level of (sic) culture and personal freedom are necessary for the existence of a school. ─ Excerpt from P.D. Ouspensky

To apply Ouspensky’s observation to a smaller scale – the microcosmos man – I would rewrite this quote to say that a householder – a normal man – must reach “a more or less ordered life and a certain level of culture and personal freedom” which allow conditions conducive to the journey of awakening. A householder is someone who has formed within himself an internal environment receptive to instruction and to receiving higher influences without deceiving oneself.

Let him walk here (on earth), bringing his dress, speech, and thoughts to a conformity with his age, his occupation, his wealth, his sacred learning … — from The Law of Manu

To be in the Work and on the Way, there is an outer and an inner application of householder. For several years, I lived in a Teaching House, a group house with other students in my School of the Fourth Way. Just as the body must work in collaboration with the mind and heart and its limbs work in coordination with each other, so must a house containing a group of individuals work in consort with one another to live together in harmony.

Let him always delight in truthfulness … let him keep his speech, his arms, and his belly under control … Let him say what is true, let him say what is pleasing, let him utter no disagreeable truth, and let him utter no agreeable falsehood; that is the eternal law. — from The Law of Manu

The “octaves” at the Teaching House were divided up, and students were assigned to grocery shopping, cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, kitchen chores, washing windows, lawn mowing, gardening, etc. The value of this group house was that in working shoulder to shoulder with other students, I received many observations from others that helped me to understand the particular weaknesses that kept me asleep. The personal freedom that Ouspensky wrote about was the freedom that comes in an environment where essence can flourish because students are working together toward the same aim of awakening.

In your actions, don’t procrastinate. In your conversations, don’t confuse. In your thoughts, don’t wander. In your soul, don’t be passive or aggressive. In your life, don’t be all about business. — from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius

A student, a Teaching House, and a real School cannot exist in an environment of negative emotions. Each student understood that we must work on our internal environment against identification, imagination, and the expression of negative emotions, which allows the emergence of essence and presence. The product of this internal work was our external environment of a well-ordered household. Working from the inside out or the outside in is equally instructive and depending on my internal state, one might lead me to presence better than the other. If I am struggling with some type of negative experience, I can focus on keeping my external environment harmonious, which in turn will affect my internal state.

As his character is, as the work is which he desires to perform, and as the manner is in which he means to serve, even so he must offer himself. — from The Law of Manu

As you move forward along the path of reason, people will stand in your way. They will never be able to keep you from doing what’s sound, so don’t let them knock out your goodwill for them. Keep a steady watch on both fronts, not only for well-based judgments and actions, but also for gentleness with those who would obstruct our path or create other difficulties. For getting angry is also a weakness, just as much as abandoning the task or surrendering under panic. For doing either is an equal desertion — the one by shrinking back and the other by estrangement from family and friend. — from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius

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Jahangir Preferring a Sufi sheikh to Kings, Bichitr, ca. 1620